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Often we prefer to blame others rather than to acknowledge any fault in ourselves. Elements of the culture have amplified, and continue to amplify, the conditioning I received as a child that women especially mothers are inherently virtuous, self-sacrificing, and morally infallible, making a tough slog through the dark feminine underworld in my own psyche even tougher. And it's been driving and influencing my relationships with women, with love and sex and intimacy, and with the feminine, albeit unconsciously and often indirectly, for my entire life. Every week our relationship expert, Sarah Abell, answers readers' questions on emotional issues. Mother Wounds that lurk unacknowledged and unhealed in men don't just hurt men. However, whether you become a mother or not, it is worth practising your gratitude and appreciation of her. Write them down and remind yourself of them and try telling her some of them too. Many of these men are being driven, at least in part, by the powerful, unconscious emotional energy of an unresolved Mother Wound. It also causes my partner stress, as he hates seeing me behave like that.
Next time she irritates you, take a deep breath, think how much you love her and ask yourself whether what you are about to say is either helpful or kind? In some cases, it is the result of a mother's absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the mother. The core truths haven't been nearly as easy to access, and the internal and social prohibitions against doing so make it feel incredibly risky to even try. Email Sara Cunningham, a mother from Oklahoma, wrote on Facebook last week "If you need a mom to attend your same sex wedding because your biological mom won't, call me. Why do men avoid their Mother Wounds? But more typically, a Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child's psyche received over many years, often as a result of the mother acting, consciously or not, out of her own woundedness. Awareness and acknowledgment of his Mother Wound is typically a huge taboo for a man as it is for almost any wounding of a male by a female. As a teenager I was very impatient with her and though I have always wished to grow out of this habit, it remains a fault of mine and I snap at her very easily. We live in a conservative town," Cunningham said. A Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with the mother. Recognising the problem is the first step to change - so be encouraged you are well on your way to improving the relationship. It is, perhaps, the most powerful grief of all: Sometimes adults behave like petulant children when they are around their parents - looking to get something from them or punishing them for not being all that they wanted them to be. The mother went from not knowing how to reconcile with her faith, to writing a book to help other mothers struggling to accept their LGBTQ children: A Mother Wound particularly if held or hidden below the level of conscious awareness can also predispose a man to vulnerability and susceptibility to dark or negative aspects of the feminine, as well as conditioning him into blindness to and acceptance of behaviors from women in his life who express them. This has obvious negative implications and consequences for relationships between men and women. If you need a mom to attend your same sex wedding because your biological mom won't. It was my first interaction with the community that I was so alienated from by my own ignorance and my own fear My Mother Wound terrifies me. And the man cannot tell her because he doesn't know. Understanding why someone behaves like they do can often help us to accept them better. It often seems that we are inundated with an apparently infinite stream of stories about misogyny, abuse, and violence inflicted on women by men, accompanied by similarly unending commentary as to the causes. I had a sense it was there, but having a sense of it and actually moving into it and feeling it are two very different things. My Mother Wound is equally deep in its own way as my Father Wound, but much of it is hidden in the weeds and shadow realms of my psyche. I'll even bring the bubbles. Sometimes daughters have to become mothers themselves before they really understand that.
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