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Sex molds

Continue Reading Below Advertisement There's no getting around it -- this is a tube that shoots slimy cosmic eggs into your vagina or rectum or ear or eye socket -- really, anywhere you point the thing. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Now, if you're a choosier sort of maniac, have no fear, because they absolutely offer a version where Nikki's knees are bent into an impossible position: If, for some reason, it doesn't look sanitary, that's because it isn't. However, there is another version that utilizes a condom, which looks about as sexually appetizing as a dead gremlin. You know the ones. Turning it on its side only solidifies our belief that this is a device into which you should never insert your genitals indeed, there are few devices that pass this important criterion. Not too much more, mind you. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement This geometric hunk of fuck madness was designed with zero actual human beings in mind.

Sex molds


Also, follow us on Facebook , and we'll be your best friends forever. Now, if Nikki were the only malformed masturbation toy out there, we could consider it a one-off -- the result of nothing more than the work of one lonely soul with poor depth perception and a singular vision of a perfect woman. But, truth be told, you are probably not interested, because the Chokouha is a brick with a keyhole drilled into it: Sure, those are presumably soft spikes, meant more for tickling than wounding. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement It seems that whoever is creating these things isn't totally familiar with human anatomy, but is chillingly acquainted with the depths of Stygian insanity. It's crowdfunded, has gotten a lot of high-profile press, and is undoubtedly capable of ripping penises at a dazzling rate. Turning it on its side only solidifies our belief that this is a device into which you should never insert your genitals indeed, there are few devices that pass this important criterion. If, for some reason, it doesn't look sanitary, that's because it isn't. Continue Reading Below Advertisement This was either constructed by an intergalactic zoologist who has catastrophically confused the Earth words for "sex" and "violent castration," or someone who could not stop masturbating to Stephen King's The Mangler. You know the ones. Not too much more, mind you. However, there is another version that utilizes a condom, which looks about as sexually appetizing as a dead gremlin. It's a sock with wires in it. But if your genitals had eyes, they would flee in terror from the unquestionable menace the sauna massage gloves project. Unfortunately, we're still at the "exploding in the hangar before takeoff" phase. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Now, if you're a choosier sort of maniac, have no fear, because they absolutely offer a version where Nikki's knees are bent into an impossible position: Those splayed-out boobs, the lopsided ass, and that full-on Exorcist head twist are clearly the work of an extraterrestrial serial killer. The only reason to create such a device would be to control the population of a planet you intend to conquer by tricking them into grinding their genitals into useless, deflated balloons so they can father no children to oppose you. We've been declamoring for them, if anything. Continue Reading Below Advertisement There's no getting around it -- this is a tube that shoots slimy cosmic eggs into your vagina or rectum or ear or eye socket -- really, anywhere you point the thing. But what if you wanted a toy which replicated a bit more? By attempting to combine breasts, a vagina, a penis, and a remote control in a single compact lump, it serves as a stark visual reminder that a jack of all trades is a master of none. If you're going to mess around with something that looks like that, you might as well stick your dick in a light socket. This is partially because such a device would look like a waking nightmare, and frankly would be too gauche to be an effective conversation piece. It's the haunted platypus of sex toys.

Sex molds


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1 thoughts on “Sex molds

  1. Mugore Reply

    Something more like a bizarre, masturbatory half-person.

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