Bi erasure is a myth. Bisexuals might not speak out as much as their lesbian and gay siblings, but that's more likely due to lingering stigmas than it is to a lack of numbers. While polyamory might appear more prevalent in the queer community, there is no hard data that ties polyamory more directly to bisexuals than people of any other orientation. Harmless banter, exhibitions of power — or do they really think that's how it works? This kind of online behaviour does translate into real life. Watch her Tiny Desk performance and prepare to be blown away. I want to tell her she is not weird or irrational; her feelings are valid. I want to hug my confused fourteen-year-old self and tell her that, yes, you can fancy your best friend and the boy who sits next to you in history!
No red flags there, then. So, I came out to myself, my boyfriend and a handful of close friends. Bisexuals are just going through a phase. This is the same logic that homophobic dudes use for why they don't want to share a locker room with gay men. But bisexuals don't need science — or the approval of those attracted to only one gender — to prove that they exist. The only experiences I had with women were clandestine, often tipsy, encounters, which left me spinning and confused. I was often made to feel inferior and unwelcome, my bisexuality perceived as a stepping-stone to becoming a lesbian, an intermediary phase resulting from indecisiveness and the need for patriarchal approval. You can test the waters, but you eventually must pick a side, the thinking goes. Yeah, she wrote that. Her magical guitar picking and quiet calming voice belong in your speakers. You don't have to be a lesbian to enjoy another woman's touch; I'm not and yet I love my girlfriend very much. Being attracted to both genders doesn't have anything to do with commitment. It's a classic concept that we see every day and one that clearly boosts sales, too. They are misleading for young women struggling with self-image and sexuality, and they're patronising when they assume that more men will buy because of them. In fact, the San Francisco Human Rights Commission released a page report in on bi invisibility within the LGBT population, proving that the phenomenon is alive and well. You are a grown woman and don't have to ask anyone's permission anymore. This kind of online behaviour does translate into real life. Judging the value of someone else's attachments on some paparazzi snaps makes judging a book by its cover look like major textual analysis. I do, however, think that videos like this let us down. I realised that not being vocal about my own sexuality was perpetuating myths about bisexuality and contributing to bi-erasure. Who knew music could stay in your head for weeks at a time? Unfortunately, the binary thinking of those who deny bisexuality's existence ultimately oppresses everyone by perpetuating unflinching standards of identity, whether they be heteronormative or homonormative. Bisexuals are a small community. This would be Muna. Also, her music videos are a must see.
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